Living with anxiety and depression and ADHD can often feel chaotic. You have constant thoughts, all of the feelings, or sometimes none at all, and don't forget the ongoing distractions. So even though I tried really hard to focus on keeping my physical spaces organized and clutter-free, it got to a point where I also needed to address the mental and emotional spaces. I didn't have a name for it then, but in 2019 I started working with a therapist, and unknowingly, I was embarking on an "emotional decluttering" journey that would be a big part of why I get to do this work, today.
For a lot of us, when we think of clutter, we think of just the physical mess, but emotional clutter can be just as overwhelming. Emotional clutter for example are things like unresolved trauma, avoided (or buried) feelings about certain things, negative thoughts and self-talk and just anxiety about things piling up. Add ADHD and that emotional weight makes focusing and staying on track even harder.
I remember when I started experiencing the signs of emotional clutter, again not knowing what it was yet. I was irritated, annoyed, unsettled, overwhelmed, stressed...you name it. I experienced what I now know as decision fatigue so I would end up just shutting down. Some days I couldn't even decide what to eat because of all the decisions I'd made throughout the day. It felt impossible to make one more so I'd go to bed and just order Doordash. I knew I was depressed and anxious, but it was also my people pleasing era so I would put others before myself and just keep on pushing through. I mean, we're supposed to, right?
If you often feel this way, you might be carrying a similar load. You feel like you're on this hamster wheel and all your emotions are just all over the place. But you put on a brave face everyday and when people ask how you're doing you say, "I'm fine". Well, I hope you pause as you read this and realize that there are names for every single emotion you're feeling. And you deserve to have your load lighten a bit.
When I started this emotional decluttering journey, I didn't even seek out to help myself. I thought I was "fine" (ha ha...ha!) so I sought out help for a family member. I'll skip the earlier parts of my journey for now, but man it's one for the books. Anyway, I remember one thing my therapist used to often do. She'd ask me how I feel and I'd say I'm mad, but she'd try again and I'd say, well I'm not mad, I just don't feel heard. So she'd push a bit more and then I'd finally realize...I feel inadequate so then I don't speak up and it makes me feel unheard so then it comes out as anger. Whew! Therapy and talking things out became my safe space to unpack my emotions and actually name them. I began really exploring what was bothering me and talk through it. To my surprise, simply naming these feelings brought clarity and ignoring them only made things worse.
Acknowledging what I was feeling felt just like decluttering. I needed to take it all out to examine it and make space, just like we sort through clothes in your closet. When we declutter and sort through your items, we identify what things are, make decisions and make room for what matters. Well, I learned to also sort through my emotions, identify what they are and decide how to address them. This allowed me to breathe, catch my breath and leave room for the good stuff. I practiced letting go, bit by bit.
Therapy saved my life and helped me "declutter and organize" my emotions. It continues to help my mental health today. So if you're feeling like you've got some emotional decluttering to do, it might be worth exploring your own journey. You deserve to make space for what truly matters...mind, body, and soul.
Disclaimer: I’m sharing my personal experience with therapy and emotional decluttering, but I’m not a mental health professional. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, please reach out to a licensed therapist or mental health professional for support. www.psychologytoday.com